College Application Essay:

I am.

I am extraordinarily ordinary. I'm often called upon do ordinary task such as killing the ferocious spider barely visible in the corner of your room or cleaning the lint from your dryer. You see, I am ordinary.

So obviously ordinary that I once attended a conference meeting on Pluto. The meeting was to discuss whether or not Pluto was ordinary enough to be a planet. It was not.

I do the everyday tasks; the ones if not done the world would explode. I drive your kids to school, pick up your trash and occasionally remind the Prime Minister to brush his teeth.

When I walk into a room, nobody flocks to me. They are simply intimated by my ordinariness. I am so plain and boring, that I achieved a 6 on my essay in Mr. Van camp's class. I was told this was, unachievable.

I am so incredibly ordinary that my house is situated inside the Krakatoa's volcano. I simply told everyone it erupting violently killing thousands. So I could have my peace.

Another example of how ridiculously ordinary I am is that when I arrive at a restaurant, I am shown to my seat AND given a menu. I do not suppose you get such an astonishing treatment.

I will not lie to you. I will not give you false pretences that I am any of the following things: stunningly beautiful, kind and considerate, amazing, fascinating or marvelous.

In fact, I'm a little bit mad but all the best ones are.