The Perfect Policy

Princess Margaret Secondary School is one of the nicest schools around. They know their students by name, they encourage them to reach their goals, they even try to help them attain good grades. After much deliberation they came up with the no zero policy. This perfect policy allows students to slack off, get rewarded anyways and keep up with the more "go getter" type students. Zeros have been obliterated from the school's system. Their only place is behind another number. Never again will then shine in the spot light as simply a zero.

What could make more sense then allowing students to do the work in their own time frame? Heaven forbid a teacher desires to mark all the assignments in one go. There is nothing more joyous then marking a five paragraph essay the night before term end. Not even as satisfying as having one weekend, without twenty late papers to mark, to do as they please. Teachers derive such pleasures from chasing students around. They also have the delight of calling parents. Hearing a parent scream their child's name is always a joy. All of this brilliance is because of the no zero policy.

The purpose of the policy is to allow students to achieve better grades. Encouraging teachers to grade them on their knowledge and skill, not their punctuality. This instills the most magnificent work ethic into the students. They are completely aware that nothing needs to be finished on time. As well as the fact that once they had a chance to get around to it, they still get that, "Yeah man, good on ya!", response. The no zero policy is just as good for these students as well as the less fortunate ones that actually work hard. These students work their asses off and get everything in on time. Their mark is exactly the same as the student who handed everything in at the last possible moment. Never again will they have to deal with being better then anyone! Never again will they more praise then the slacker that sleeps in the corner. The no zero policy can be accredited for this.

This school has got it right. They are pumping out students with perfect work ethics. Their students are happy, content and never break a sweat. The no zero policy has got it made. The perfect school system. When these students step out into the real world they will be prepared. They will show up late to work. They will forget to do their assignments. Their children will be just as driven. When they wake up in the morning and they get fired from their job, they will shout, "What about the no zero policy?!"